Dear Frank


Dear Frank,

Just thought I’d drop you a line and wish you all the best in the new job. As Mr. Pope you will be responsible for the spiritual well being of some two billion souls worldwide, different cultures, different languages, but united under the catholic banner.

Mother church has had a bit of a time recently trying to play down the crimes and misdemeanors of the clergy. The sex scandals just wont go away. It seems that every confessional opened produces another skeleton. Now I’m just positing the notion that the closet is a fitting simile for the source of all your troubles past and future.

The vow of celibacy taken by priests is a tall order considering they are expected to offer advice to families on subjects like birth control. The given advice is the rhythm method, which, unless you have a musical background, may escape most with obvious consequences.

Another big ask is putting these ill prepared men in a darkened closet to hear confessions. It’s not hard to imagine the temptation in such confined space. The little hatch slides back to reveal the penitent seeking absolution from the perceived sins. A young man or woman describing an encounter with the opposite or same sex in a moment of abandoned passion and fallen prey to temptation. Now how is the priest in his darkened closet, a voyeur, going to deal with the serpent twitching in the undergrowth? A predictable scenario for a porn movie, wouldn’t you say?

Not to labour the point or point fingers, but isn’t it time to lighten up on the celibacy thing and give the guys and girls a break. At least with the choice they may still opt for celibacy. Its not a bad life,a stipend, company car, house keeper, bit of international travel, and good pension prospects even if  caught with their trousers down or cassock up.

Yours in good faith.


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