It’s alarming


Its Friday evening, you’ve finished dinner and sat down to take in some home entertainment with a glass of wine or a beer. Or it’s 3am and you’re in bed in the depths of sleep, hard earned after a week of grind. The peace of night is suddenly ripped asunder by the bleating of an alarm, car or home, designed to penetrate to the core like a toothache. The insistent bleat is ignored by whoever it is meant to alert, whilst piercing the calm of the neighbourhood to draw attention to an intruder. Often these alerts result from an over sensitive sensor activated by a fly, a mouse, the wind, or a heavy shower. Alarms are a beacon to the miscreant, which provide only a cursory protection. Mostly they are ignored by neighbours who’ve become impervious to the shriek of ‘wolf’.

I work from a building adjacent to an empty public property. Shortly after it was vacated the alarm triggered. Being the good citizen I called the relevant security.

Hello the alarms have gone off at Slaughterhouse.

No Sir, you must be mistaken because there is no power to that building.

Mmm, I can assure you that the alarm is definitely active and sounding.

Sir, as I’ve said that is not possible.

I’m standing outside next to Slaughterhouse and the noise that you  hear in the background is the alarm .

Sir, I have no idea where you are standing but it most definitely is not at Slaughterhouse. The alarm you are hearing must be from another building because as I’ve told you there is no power to that building.

Let me ask you a question. Do alarm systems not act independently from the mains supply?

Sir, I am not an expert on these things but I fear you are mistaken. I have other duties to attend to, goodbye.

This conversation is a genuine exchange, which demonstrates the efficiency of monitored alarm systems. Interestingly if you are a key holder to an alarmed property you will receive a call from the provider informing you that the alarm has been triggered. The service provider expects you to investigate while you, the client, pay for the service. Am I mistaken in thinking that maybe this is a con, while a voluble mynah bird may be more effective?


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