Moses heard a voice. He had gone up Mount Sinai for a bit of R&R after leading his people out of Egypt. I think they may have been doing his head in. The guy is taking a breather, after the events previously alluded to, when a voice calls to him from a burning bush. So who needs this I ask you? Now if old Moses was unsettled before, this must have completely unhinged him.

You think this would be a learner for the rest of us mere mortals since most people know that story. But no, no think again. People out there are attributing the voice of God or the Prophet to the atrocities they inflict on their fellow man. But, of course, that would be Holy War. Either that or a common case of insanity, for which I blame this government’s policy of placing the clinically insane back in the community. See where that’s got us!

The reason I mention this is, believe it or not, I heard a voice. I was minding my own business while taking a casual stroll though a local park on a sharp winters day. Well actually it was more of a ‘psstt’ than an actual voice.

“Is that you, Lord?” I asked. Not an unreasonable question.

“It is I.” came the response.

“Praise the Lord !”

“Not so quick with the assumptions, my good fellow.”

Not a very God-like response I thought.

“I am not the lord, I am the Prince.”

Wow, now I was impressed expecting a heavenly chorus of Purple Rain. Intrigued. The Prince. Wow again.

“Where art thou oh Prince?” Why I thought a Shakespearean flavour appropriate remains a mystery.

A loud cracking of branches but no flames put an end to the Biblical expectation as a harnessed figure hit the ground.

“Agh shit”

Definitely not a Divine descent or of Divine descent. But there again maybe I’ was being judgmental without due process. I approached to offer assistance and was immediately struck by the likeness to HRH Prince Andrew whose visage has fed a media frenzy this past while. Hubble bubble sex and trouble.

“Prince Andrew I presume? ”

“Shhhsh! This is an unscheduled visit to the loyal citizens of this outpost of the Empire”

“A bit of bother, Sir?”

“Accusations of impropriety with young ladies have resulted in this unusual course of action, at least until the flames die down you might say”.

I did not say and therefore seized the opportunity to address these wilful rumours as a loyal citizen of this great country and our cherished Royal Family.

“You been kiddy fiddling, Andy boy? It’s not like the lineage is pearly white and above reproach, now is it? Uncle Battenberg may have had unusual tastes and big brother, 1st in line, had been parker bowling away from home for years. Association with a convicted pedo and his purchased retinue of jailbait may have put the tin crown on it, and would tend to benefit the mud-slingers, don’t you think? Mr. Epstein’s hedge fund fortune permitted him lots of time to play with his dick, and his associates to play with theirs, in the company of children. Puts a new slant on being ‘upstanding’ your Highness!”


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